I don’t know of a single person in this life who does not want to be happy and have joy.
If you took a poll, some people might say they want to have a good family, a nice house, a dream car, recognition, accomplishment, more time, etc.
But if you keep asking someone WHY they want those things, it always distills down to happiness.
People just want to be happy. Every single action someone is taking in their life is in an effort to experience happiness or joy.
That is the most basic human desire. Men and women exist to have joy.
And yet so few people experience a fullness of joy.
Why?
It’s because the recipe for happiness is counterintuitive to the natural man. The steps to attain joy runs counter to your natural instincts and the narrative of the world.
Christ had the recipe. It’s so simple. And yet, as the Savior says, “few there be that find it.”
No church can make us happy. Even Christ cannot MAKE us happy. Your husband, your wife, your kids, your parents… none of that can MAKE us happy. These people in your life may give you the tools and a framework to achieve happiness and joy, but in the end, it’s your outlook and perspective that will determine your happiness.
“The kingdom of God is within you,” said the Savior.
So I’d like to share what I believe are four difficult areas in which our outlook is critical to experiencing happiness and joy in this life.
1. Our Outlook on Trials and Adversity
One day not too long ago, Kristyn’s childhood best friend sat in our kitchen and expressed her sadness over how her life has turned out.
She said, “All I really wanted in life was to grow up, get married, have a house with a white picket fence around the yard while I watch my husband and kids play in the yard.”
Instead, her first marriage ended quickly with a disappointing annulment. She married again to a great man, but he passed away due to complications from diabetes. Determined to not give up on life, she met and married a third husband. He was fun and energetic. He was baptized as a convert and seemed to be on fire. But he proved to be a seed cast among thorny ground. His excitement for the gospel fizzled out quickly and was short lived. He left her with their first child on the way.
This woman never got her picket fence. She never could have imagined the nightmare she’d live. She’s now a single mom with pain that just won’t go away. She told us that she doesn’t believe that she’ll ever experience a fullness of joy in this life.
On another occasion a few years ago, I vividly remember all of our young men and leaders laying on our backs, staring up at the starry sky with the silhouette of the massive Corona Arch directly above us. We asked if anyone wanted to say anything. I’ll never forget a young man’s voice breaking the silence as he expressed his lifelong sadness and disappointment over not having a father in his life. The odds were stacked against him. Joy and happiness is difficult when you feel abandoned.
In another story I learned of recently, an Evangelical pastor who was on his way back from a pastor conference in Texas was obliterated by a semi, and was pronounced dead at the scene. He was miraculously, revived 90 minutes later only to realize that he would need dozens of surgeries and still suffer lifelong disabilities. He was angry at God for letting this happen while he was serving the Lord. There was no joy in his heart.
The woman who longed for a white picket fence kind of life has now developed a reliance on God and a desire to help others in a way that would have likely never existed if she didn’t go through what she went through. She now helps people who have suffered in similar ways.
The young man who mourned his life under the Corona Arch is about to serve a mission. I heard him stand at the pulpit not long ago and say, “I’ve learned that these things aren’t happening to me, they’re happening for me.” Can you imagine the people he will reach throughout his mission and his life through sheer empathy alone?
The pastor I mentioned that was hit by a semi, said he came to the realization that he had a choice on how to view his current circumstance. He said, “I can become bitter or I can become better. And I choose to be better.”
“All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good.” the Lord told Joseph Smith as he almost froze to death for months on end at Liberty jail.
“Everything can be taken from a man or woman but one thing” explained Victor Frankl, a Nazi internment camp survivor: “the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.
Lehi gives that iconic Book of Mormon verse in 2 Ne 2:25, and says that men and women exist, “that they might have joy.” But He says something very interesting two verses earlier regarding Adam and Eve: He said that they had “had no joy because they knew no misery.” Lehi was directly tying misery to joy.
In the Garden of Eden, God says a similar thing to Adam and Eve. He said, “Cursed is the ground, for THY SAKE.”
All of this seems counterintuitive for God to curse the ground and call it a blessing or to bind misery and joy together as contingent upon each other.
Prophets have taught that the fall was an act of grace. And if that is true, then our trials and adversities, by extension, are also a form of grace.
Some trials seem impossible to view through that lense.
But I’ve learned for myself that it is in the Gethsemanes and Golgothas of our lives that we are closest to our Savior. Those are the moments that we find Christ kneeling, pleading, and bleeding, with us and for us.
It was the suffering of Christ that made him the Savior of all mankind. We, like Him, become more equipped to help others because of our adversity, our suffering, and our misery. The hard experiences are what shape us and I truly believe that we can feel a fullness of joy and happiness while in the midst of our most trying earthly experiences.
To quote Victor Frankl again, He said, “What is to give light must endure burning”
2. Our Outlook on People
How we treat others is directly correlated to our own personal happiness.
One thing I have learned in life is that everyone has their own little quirks. Different backgrounds. Different anxieties. Different trials. Different weaknesses. Everyone is subject to their own devils and their own unique storms of life. Some are self-inflicted and some are inflicted by others.
Often we villainize and ostracize others because of those things. Sometimes we label them as “weird” or “bad” or we give them a host of other ignorant labels.
But the truth is, that we don’t know why people are the way that they are. Everyone is suffering with something.
So my suggestion to you today is to not let yourself get agitated and irritated because of the weaknesses and quirks of others.
I was inspired by the Neuner’s lesson a few weeks ago in Sunday school when they asked “Who is your neighbor?” It’s easy to say you love people halfway across the world, said Scott Neuner. But your neighbor is someone you’re always bumping into, sharing a border with, resolving disagreements, always needing to interact with.
I love the analogy of the rock tumbler. There couldn’t be a more useful application than what we experience in families and here at church.
In a rock tumbler, jagged rocks are thrown into a tumbler and then jostled around. Over time, those rocks become smooth and refined. It is not the rock tumbler itself that causes the transformation. The rock tumbler is just the vehicle that facilitates this process of refinement. It is the action of those rocks smashing against each other that eventually smoothes out the rough edges and refines them. The church is like a rock tumbler. It facilitates a place where we’re required to bump into each other, learn from each other, be annoyed by each other, have mercy on each other and ultimately help one another other.
“The nearer we get to our Heavenly Father,” Joseph Smith once said, “the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls and we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs.”
It is counterproductive for us to dwell on what we perceive as the weaknesses and faults of others. Our standard should be to give others the benefit of the doubt. To not assume the worst in them. And to understand that every single person we come in contact with is likely struggling with something severe.
We should spend so much time shining a light on the good in others that we have no time to focus on their quirks.
The result will be happiness and joy as we root negativity toward others out of our lives.
3. Our Outlook on Negativity
President Monson once said, “The only thing more contagious than enthusiasm is a lack of enthusiasm.” It’s easy to be a downer. It’s easy to complain.
While I was playing baseball in college, I had an experience where I was running back to the dugout and I was complaining about something. I’ll never forget when one of my coaches came over to me, got in my face, and said, “Trimble… there are two types of people in this life. There are fountains and there are drains. Which one are you?”
His words hit me harder than if he would have punched me in the face. I was the team captain and I should have known better. I was obviously being a drain.
I’ve never forgotten that experience. I don’t want to be known as a drain. Drains are always taking. Always tearing down. Always complaining. Always thinking about themselves. And are quite literally a drain on those around them. I want to be a fountain. I want to give life to anyone I come in contact with.
It’s hard to be unhappy when you’re being a fountain.
4. Our Outlook on Self-Care
As is often the case in our world, good things are often taken to the extreme until they become bad things.
A trendy distorted version of the concept of “self-care” has become one of those things.
Of course it’s important to care for yourself and to love yourself. Of course it’s important to take some time for yourself. To be physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.
Christ often took time for himself to be alone to pray and to meditate. Taking some personal time to relax is not the issue.
The concept of self-care becomes an issue when a person becomes so fixated on their own happiness that they begin to see everything and everyone as a threat to their own happiness. They begin to view the world in a way that says: “How can everyone serve me, versus, how can I serve others.”
When a person adopts this distorted version of “self-care,” it seems as if every decision they make becomes based on their own comfortability. Everything has to be done their way and on their time table. They’re put out by anything that requires them to sacrifice for others in the name of “protecting their time.”
But a life in which a person is constantly thinking about themselves is a life of unhappiness and Christ knew it.
“If any man or woman will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
What is “your cross?” And what is “my cross?”
It is the excruciating trials and adversities that we deal with in our lives. It is the requirement to love our neighbor, quirks and all, even if they annoy us or injure us. It is to always look outward and show up for others, even when we don’t want to. It is to build others up and to bless them at every opportunity. Not just the poor. But every single person you come in contact with because almost everyone you meet is suffering with something.
“Whosoever will save their life shall lose it” says the Savior.
That could be translated for our day as… “Whosoever spends their life consumed with ‘self-care’ shall lose their purpose and the opportunity for joy”
The Savior goes on: “But whosoever will lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it”
Translation… “You will find life, happiness and joy when you sacrifice your own care for the care of others.”
The Doctrine and Covenants says that “we should waste and wearout our lives” in caring for and helping others. Not the other way around.
There is some counterintuitive universal law that makes a person genuinely happy when they’re in the process of serving others and not themselves.
Wrapping Up
I truly believe the words of Christ when he says that the kingdom of God is within you.
The law and the gospel is written on our hearts. It is the solution to every problem. It is the only source of perpetual happiness and joy. There is no trial, no neighbor, no problem, no sacrifice… There is nothing in this world that can rob you of that happiness and joy. It’s yours if you want it.
The Savior gave us… every one of us… the ability to have a fullness of joy in this life. We just have to choose to accept it and enjoy it.
I enjoyed your thoughts, thanks for sharing them.
Are you familiar with the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus? I’m sure you are. That is the law of the new covenant. The old is fulfilled. In your last paragraph you combine the law with the gospel, but ‘the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.’ Hold on. The great misconception among LDS people is they think life is supposed to be a pursuit of perpetual happiness and joy and if it is not, they think they are doing something wrong. When everything goes their way they think they must be living (their interpretation of) the gospel, therefore their church is true.
The pursuit of Jesus may mean that we have to run on empty. ‘The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?’ We have to lose, to win Christ. ‘If any man will come after me, let him deny himself,’ means to give up on your self sufficiency for salvation. For our sufficiency is of God. Paul said as you probably know, I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.’ You see, the gospel brings the loss of self, and that may include what our hearts think we deserve for our obedience. It may include our happiness, but it means we gain Christ.
You say you haven’t, but you have returned just like the Galatians to another gospel which is not another. You cannot include one smidgeon of works to be justified before God. You fiddle around with temple ordinances and bind yourself to laws and then turn around and say you are not counting on your works to save you. It’s hypocritical blindness. Think about the Gentiles, ‘which followed not after righteousness, hav(ing) attained to righteousness, even the righteousness which is of faith. But Israel, which followed after the law of righteousness, hath not attained to the law of righteousness. Wherefore? Because they sought it not by faith.’
How many times have I heard LDS people say, well my works are a manifestation of my faith. True, but is your false temple worship a manifestation of your faith? I think not. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. We are careful to maintain good works, for we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, but our sufficiency is of God. Learning to trust in the sufficiency of God means to be ‘not entangled again with the yoke of bondage, which means you are not a debtor to the law, but a debtor to Christ.
So the commission we have in the dispensation of grace is to stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free. Paul says, to the church at Galatia, I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ into another gospel, which is not another, but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ.’ There are unique features of the gospel of Jesus Christ that you say you know and observe, but faith does not mean you are to bind yourself to laws of temple ordinances and trust in them for exaltation. It is not a system of righteousness that saves, but an understanding and willingness to abide and trust by what is revealed in the gospel of Jesus Christ. And what is that? The power of God unto salvation is to everyone that believeth. Not to everyone that believeth the LDS view of the gospel, but to everyone that believeth how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.
To the saints at Corinth Paul says, But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. And Isaiah said, Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else. And John said, And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up: That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
The Mormon Christianity takes away from the simple faith people express and live in Christ, by binding them to temple law and making it a gospel that is only available through temple ordinances, which is just dressing up the law. And then they have the gall to say they are adding to their faith.
The Epistles to the churches is the first handbook to the early Christian church, yet no Mormon goes to the Epistles to understand the simple features of the gospel of Jesus Christ. They are wholly ignorant of these unique features. Because of their creeds, they will not trust the bible. Peter writes a letter to the strangers scattered throughout Asia. He addresses them as the elect through sanctification of the Spirit. They are the Gentile Christians by the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Paul’s letter to Titus addresses faith and works. ‘Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost, which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour. That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.’
By contrast, you paint a pretty dismal picture with sneaky writing that sounds like liberty in Christ but is not. Yours is not sound doctrine neither is it good news nor is it something to rejoice in. People who have liberty in Christ are not searching for a joy and happiness outside of biblical truth and will find no greater joy and happiness.
Jesus said, ‘by their fruits ye shall know them.’ The fruits are the words we speak. Will you speak the words of biblical truth? Until you do your words will be thorns and thistles. We are born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever. For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away: But the word of the Lord endureth forever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.’ Indicating that the bible is the incorruptible seed and that seed planted in you will bring about the rebirth that Jesus describes to Nicodemus. ‘Except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.
That is why most Mormons never come to a knowledge of the truth. Truth to them is whatever they believe outside of the bible, but the bible is the standard by which you measure truth. It is a safeguard against heretical teachings. You go about trying to prove the bible as fallible. You will never come to appreciate and trust it as long as you do. That is not faith. You need to express faith in the word of God. That indeed God does have power to preserve his words. If God is capable of creation, I think he is capable of preservation. Build faith in the word of God, don’t tear down the bible down by such references to Acts 9:7 and Acts 22:9 as prove that the bible is unreliable when you know not. ‘They heard not the voice . . . they did not hear it as a voice uttering articulate words. It was for them as though it thundered. Just like you who ‘hearing, hears not.’
thanx for the lecture , or your sermon . your comment was off subject — focus on the message not the message in your head
you still don’t get it . Latter-day Saints – The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints . what is the name of your church ?