It is very likely that you will be called into a “leadership position” while you are on your mission or throughout your life. But regardless of when or where you are called to serve, “Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position.”
If you’re a leader before you’re called into a leadership position, then it’s likely that you’ll hold that position in a spirit of meekness and humility. You cannot let positions make you feel powerful. You don’t derive power from position. You derive power from honor and service. King Benjamin was “powerful” because the people honored him. The people honored him because he served them.
Only the honorable are capable of becoming great leaders. Many people have held positions and have long since been forgotten. But those that have honorably served others have become immortal in the lives of others. That is power. “He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader,” said Aristotle.
Does that seem contradictory?
One of the primary attributes of good leaders is that they consistently choose the right people to follow. During the War in Heaven, many great leaders, including yourself, chose to follow Jehovah. That choice qualifies you to become a good leader on earth. Every good leader that you choose to follow brings you closer to becoming the leader that you were born to become.
The way you handle yourself in sticky situations will determine the effectiveness of your leadership throughout your mission and throughout your life. Good leaders are always focused on solutions. They don’t dwell on the past. They only learn from it. They don’t keep a laundry list of others past deeds. They’re quick to forget the sins and weaknesses of others and are always looking toward the future. Joseph Smith said,”The nearer we get to our Heavenly Father the more are we disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs.”
You want to make others feel important for no reason and expecting nothing in return. Compliment strangers regardless of who they are and do it for no other reason than because you want to make them smile. “Praise is like the sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow man the warm sunshine of praise. Give someone a good reputation and just watch them live up to it!”
Eliminate criticism from your system. But you say, “I’m a leader . . . it’s my job to criticize.” You can effectively change peoples’ lives without criticizing them. They will witness your success, and without you saying a word, they’ll be imitating you in no time. Make appreciation and praise part of your everyday routine. Look for ways and reasons to praise other people. When you don’t feel like smiling, smile anyway. The gospel is supposed to make people happy, and great leaders normally have infectious smiles.
The best leaders take the blame when there is blame to take and deflect the praise when it comes their way. They understand that “you can accomplish anything . . . as long as you don’t care who gets the credit.”
During ancient Passover, the population tripled in Jerusalem and people would bring their animals. There’d be trash and droppings all over the ground where you’d walk. People wore sandals as they walked the streets. Patrons’ feet would become extremely dirty and unsanitary. Christ condescended to wash the feces off of His Apostles’ feet as an example of what a great leader does. This was one of the last things Christ did before He left for Gethsemane, which speaks to the importance of the principle He was trying to teach.
Giants in the kingdom aren’t threatened by the strong or intelligent individuals that surround them. They never try to suppress the talent of their peers. In fact, they exhibit the exact opposite behavior. These leaders find talent that is buried deep inside others and strive to draw it out to shine a light on it. “Lift others up” is their motto. They never seek to keep others down.
It is “Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to follow.” —Chinese Proverb
As you serve this mission, you’re never asked to go into this battle alone. Whether you like it or not, you’ll have someone by your side twenty-four hours a day for the next eighteen to twenty four months. You might face rain and snow. You might face 100-degree heat. You might face pastors that despise you, bad food, or dogs that try to bite you. But trying to figure out how to get along with, and love, each of your companions might just be one of the biggest challenges you’ll ever face.
You’ve got to learn how to get along with your companion if you want to be successful at teaching the gospel as a team. Your companion might act weird, look weird, or smell weird. It doesn’t matter. You’ve got to become one if you want to be effective missionaries. Just as in marriage, you will not be successful alone. “If ye are not one ye are not mine,” said the Savior (D&C 38:27).
Of all the things I learned on my mission, the thing I wish I would have learned the fastest was how to love and serve my companion. I’ll never forget how poorly I treated some of my companions. It’s sadly one of the things I regret most from my mission. I should have been nicer to those who were different from me or that disagreed with me. I should have taken a genuine interest in their lives. But I didn’t. At least not right away. Instead of seeing the good, I only saw the flaws. I subconsciously and sometimes overtly used those flaws to feel better about myself. “It is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try and understand the other person’s viewpoint; it is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise” said the great thought leader Dale Carnegie. He continued by saying that “criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.” Seek to criticize less and encourage more.
One day while sitting on the transfer bus, I was sitting by myself memorizing scriptures. I thought I was so righteous for staying focused on the gospel and memorizing scriptures during transfer time when all of the other missionaries were slapping hands, giving hugs, and sharing stories. When my mission president found me alone on the transfer bus with my notecards, he asked me what I was doing. I told him something to the effect of “I didn’t come on a mission to make friends with other missionaries and mess around. I came out here to work and teach the gospel.” He kind of smiled at me like I was an idiot and said, “You’ve got to get out there and rub shoulders with those missionaries. Maybe some of them need you.”
This experience happened to me early in my mission, and what he said on that bus didn’t quite register at the time. Not until close to the end of my mission did I start to realize what he meant and what an idiot I’d actually been. I was quick to find fault and slow to empathize. I thought I was being a great missionary because I was focused on investigators, while neglecting to apply the Savior’s core attributes to the person closest to me. My companion.
Why are we so quick to find fault with one another? Why do we think we’re better than others? The prophet Joseph Smith said that “the devil flatters us that we are very righteous while we’re feeding on the faults of others.” Don’t use your companion’s weaknesses as means to make yourself look better. Band together as brothers and sisters and have each other’s backs!
I had never considered that many missionaries come into the mission field struggling with various things. Maybe they really miss home or maybe their testimony is weak. Maybe they’ve got psychological or physical illnesses to deal with. Maybe they have social issues, and knocking on someone’s door is terrifying to them. Everyone is fighting their own personal battle within this war of life. So maybe there’s another mission within your mission. A rescue mission that may not be so conspicuous, and yet staring you in the face.
You might try living the “Golden Rule” and treating your companion how you’d like to be treated. But you can even take it one step further and live the “Platinum Rule” and treat others not as you would want to be treated but how they would like to be treated.
Helping your companion become better might be one of the most important things you do on your entire mission. If you’re humble, who knows . . . they might be able to help you with a thing or two as well. You’re in the trenches together. You might as well make the most of it. This is where friendships of a lifetime can be forged—if you let them.
I hope you’re able to use my shortcomings to become far better than I ever was. And maybe some of these principles will be helpful as you go on to lead (with or without a title) throughout your mission.
